brighter light I am sure I will be able to see the real you better".

I felt quite like a gold fish in a bowl and am quite sure the gold fish was no redder that I was for the next few moments as I made a strut or two before her much as would a real model. She then stood up and examined me at a real close range.

She said, "Now you do have me confused. I thought you were trying to pull my leg and since you appeared harmless, I thought I would do you a turn and even have a little fun while I was showing you up. Now you have me thoroughly confused. I do not know whether you are really a boy or a girl.

I felt it was up to me to take a stand so I told her the story of my being a transvestite. I told her about my earliest memory of my mother dressing me in girl- ish things and combing my long hair and of the parties that I had enjoyed during my early growing up period. I told her how I had continued my feelings and how I had dressed at every opportunity and how I had tried purposely to develope all feminine feelings and re- sponses that developed. I told her how I knew that I could control myself and could, by dressing upon occasion, satisfy my inner longing and could maintain a stable outlook on the world of my daily activities.

Mrs. Scarcliff appeared to muse over these thoug- ths that were so new to her.

She then said, "This is something new to me and I wonder if I will be open to question from my friends as I think you mean what you say and feel that there is something for me to learn from you. I have never found anyone who could talk of these things with an objectivity that appears to make sense. I wonder if you might have studied psychology to be so well vers- ed in what you are saying. It seems that you learned your lessons well if that is the case".

I said, "I have traveled a varied road of books in trying to learn of my difficulties. I have tried to talk to doctors and psychologists but I did not find

17.